the watchmen joke

The pearly gates await our next hero in line for almighty judgment. Instead, she seems to see herself as some sort of reconning. God cracks his knuckles, ready to administer the reckoning. And then he notices someone waiting, but it's not a hero, it's just a woman. Frightened, he went to see his old enemy, Moloch, telling him that he was the closest friend the Comedian had. A one-stop shop for all things video games. The Comedian and Dr. Manhattan help America win the Vietnam War, which in actual history stretched from 1955 to 1975 as a protracted fight against North Vietnamese Communists, and which America thoroughly lost. “Zero,” he says. Awesome so true about men. God asks. Regarded by some as the best comics writer in the English language, he is widely recognized among his peers and critics. And the hero goes to hell. No one else saw the joke. Only one problem: there’s a brick leftover. Watchmen von Kult-Autor Alan Moore gilt als einer der bedeutendsten und besten Comics aller Zeiten und konnte dank seiner Einzigartigkeit mehrere Eisner Awards, die Oscars der Comicbranche, gewinnen. Give or take, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs." The assholes down here still think you give a shit. Your heart’s in the right place. It’s hard for me to believe that Doc just developed a sense of humor and decided to offer a physical punchline to the joke. Sometimes it's nice to pretend. This edition of WATCHMEN, the groundbreaking series from Alan Moore, the award-winning writer of V FOR VENDETTA and BATMN: THE KILLING JOKE, and Dave Gibbons, the artist of GREEN LANTERN, features the high-quality, recolored pages found in WATCHMEN: THE ABSOLUTE EDITION with sketches, never-before-seen extra bonus materials and a new introduction by Dave Gibbons. I mean, why would I want to watch a guy with pictures of my uncle's penis all over his face? And where does God go when he dies? But we know from the comic that the character, Daniel Dreiberg, is a former love interest of Laurie. Curtains. God cracks his knuckles, ready to administer the final reckoning. And so, a mere piston in the inevitable machinery of time and space and God does what he did and what he will do, God snaps his finger and the hero goes to hell. Watchmen Quotes Showing 1-30 of 143 “Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. And Blue God sounds very sad when he softly says, “Because I’m already there.” And so a mere piston in the inevitable machinery of time and space, God does what he did and what he will do: He snaps finger. Click the button below to start this article in quick view. And when he finishes, it's a beauty. God snaps his fingers, and the hero goes to hell.". So, God asks Blue God "what'd you do with these gifts?" God snaps his fingers, the hero goes to hell. HBO's Watchmen episode 3, "She Was Killed By Space Junk," finally gives the show some major connections to the original Watchmen graphic novel by introducing Laurie Blake, AKA the former Silk Spectre II, who transmits a "joke" to her former lover, Dr. Manhattan, on Mars via a gaudy public phone booth apparently intended for the public to send messages to Manhattan almost like a prayer to a distant god, Laurie even says "the assholes down here still think you give a shit.". Tire tread on burst stomach. The Killing Joke, which explores the psychology of the Joker and argues that he is not altogether different from Batman himself, much like the characters of Watchmen blur the line between hero and villain. God never saw him coming. Some might even say he was the smartest man in the world. And a sound from above. "Oh I was standing behind those other guys the whole time, you just didn't see me." The joke provides important insight into several characters. Good joke. Colorist John Higgins is the forgotten hero of Watchmen. And it doesn’t matter how I answer your question, because I know you’re sending me to hell.” “How do you know that,” asks God. The joke itself is a play on a classic old multi-part joke about a brick, with the first part serving as a fake-out/set-up to introduce the brick, ending with an unfunny or unsatisfying conclusion, before another joke, sometimes told immediately after, sometimes much longer (depending on how daring the teller is), brings the brick back as the punchline to a seemingly unrelated story. So for the sake of telling them apart: he’s blue and he likes to stroll around with his dick hanging out; he can teleport; he can see into the future; he can blow shit up – he’s got actual superpowers. Unimportant. Watchmen ist eine 1986/87 erschienene Graphic Novel von Alan Moore (Text) und Dave Gibbons (Zeichnungen). ", "Ok, forget the brick. One hero left. It’s a perfect barbecue – just the way he drew it in the blueprints. There are plenty of things to love about this show, but one thing most of us can agree on is the dialogue rarely, if ever, stumbles.Here are a few of our favorite quotes from this season. He’s a real master of his craft, because he’s precise. The complete text of Laurie's phone booth joke can be found below: There’s this guy. Watchmen Jokes. I first read Watchmen about a decade ago and have reread it 3 or 4 times since then. The brick from the first story returns and kills God as she ironically quotes Rorshach's journal from the murder of her father, Edward Blake: "Roll on snare drum. Good joke. God sighs, "do I even need to ask how many people you killed?" The episode opens with a shot of Laurie placing the "Blue Booth Network" call at a booth in front of The Iberian Pig and The Square Pub, a location shown in Tulsa later in the episode, indicating the call is placed at the end and inserted non-linearly throughout the episode. Stop me if you're heard this one. I don't know who you are..." And the woman looks at God and she quietly says "I'm the little girl who threw the brick in the air." And Owl Guy says "I made this really awesome flying ship and lots of cool outfits and weapons so I could bring peace to the city." I have an idea. thought? It was published by DC Comics in 1986 and 1987, and collected in a single volume edition in 1987. And we like characters who tell good jokes. Watchmen ebnete den Weg für Comics wie wir sie heute kennen und verlieh dem Superheldengenre bis dato ungeahnte Tiefe. Screen Rant features editor and social media maven, Stephen has been writing for the site since 2016 and enjoys all manner of movies and TV, especially when it gives reason to obsess over minor irrelevant continuity minutiae. All the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers. 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Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Watchmen proved to be not just one of HBO's best shows of 2019, but one of the best shows on TV, period.Thanks to Damon Lindelof and a ton of other great writers, the show has no shortage of great lines. Our hero number two is confident he can game this out, because that’s his God-given talent – smarts. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. I am over 18. Anyway, this guy has a daughter. Watchmen creates an alternate version of the American 20th century, imagining the effect that costumed heroes and Dr. Manhattan would have had on contemporary events. Laurie's version of the joke takes things a step further to also serve as a character recap for the survivors of the events of the Watchmen novel, but it's also a nod to the biblical parable of the talents in which a master (God), entrusted his servants with a different number of talents (money) while he was away and then evaluates their use of the talents while he was gone. Once those nukes start flying no one can stop them, not even Dr. Manhattan, and Ozymandias here will be the smartest man on the cinder. “I’m so sorry. She picks up the orphan brick and she throws it up in the air as high as she can. And he shows the daughter everything, step by step. https://www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a29652209/watchmen-joke-full-text On its face, the joke is Laurie echoing the nihilism of her father, Edward Blake, The Comedian. This almost never happens. Watchmen Jokes. "So what'd you do with that big brain I gave you?" Our hero number 2 is confident he can game this out because that's his God-given talent - smarts. RELATED: Everything That Happened In Between The Watchmen Graphic Novel & HBO Series. And he’s really good at it. So he picks up the sledgehammer to knock the thing to pieces and suddenly his daughter says "Daddy, wait. He does the math. Even though you've been living on another fucking planet for 30 years. Dog carcass in alley this morning. Can I tell you another one? With Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman. She leaves him a message—a joke. Oh, right. “Where did you come from?” asks God. Although she didn't face judgment in front of God in the same way the other three did in her joke. I think Rorschach was my least favorite character in Watchmen. I've got a joke. Because he's precise. Some might even say he was the smartest man in the world. "Am not," says Smartypants. In an increasingly interconnected yet ever more discombobulated world, the booze-drenched, factually-tilted hyperreality of the ICMI still feels like more of a joke or a confidence trick than a threat. Treated it like a joke, but he understood. So Dad decides to build a BBQ in the back yard. Given what has happened over the last year or so with the “Watchmen” franchise and its Emmy-winning success as an HBO miniseries, it’s interesting to look back at what might have happened decades earlier. The Comedian, an amoral killing machine who raped Jupiter, conceiving Laurie. Go and see him. We do what we have to do. And suddenly his daughter says, “Daddy, wait. He goes to hell. You just didn’t see me.” “Did I give you a talent?” God asks. Throughout the movie The Comedian has committed several crimes, because he thought that humans were savages and should be treated like a joke. "You're a fucking monster." And God says "I gifted you the ability to make fantastic inventions. In the joke, Laurie describes these three heroes brought before God who passes judgement on each one. Well, good ones, anyway. What did you do with this amazing talent?" Damon Lindelof’s HBO series Watchmen comes packed with visual references and in-jokes based on Alan Moore’s comic series. A woman, Laurie Blake, speaks into a phone connected to Mars and, as we hear an automated voice say, Doctor Manhattan. "Well, as a matter of fact, I saved humanity," says Smartypants. “Oh, I was standing behind those other guys the whole time. We’re down to the nitty-gritty now. Watchmen is an American comic book maxiseries by the British creative team of writer Alan Moore, artist Dave Gibbons and colorist John Higgins. Our first hero is dressed up like a big owl. And Blue God sounds very sad when he says "because I'm already there." “A live body and dead body have the same number of particles, so it doesn’t matter. All the heroes have gone to hell. He does the math. And …. Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. However, her indication that she's left that life behind seems to be the real joke, as the briefcase she keeps with an image of her with Dr. Manhattan and a big blue sex toy clearly inspired by him and has Agent Petey wear a mask when she sleeps with him - just like Nite Owl's need to suit up to be with her in Watchmen. Well, the Blue God is on Mars. Regular God asks Blue God, “What have you done with these gifts?” And Blue God says, “I fell in love with a woman, I walked across the sun, I fell in love with another woman, I won the Vietnam War. He can teleport, he can teleport, he can see into the future, he can blow shit up, he's got actual superpower. I messed it up. And everyone was so afraid of it, they stopped being afraid of each other.” “Okay,” says God. Search, discover and share your favorite Watchmen GIFs. [Editor’s Note: The following review contains spoilers for “Watchmen” Episode 3, “She Was Killed by Space Junk.”]. God looks up, but it's too late. I am Pagliacci." “Three million, give or take. asks God. When it comes to Laurie. She doesn't seem to think Dr. Manhattan is listening, or that he even cares about the people of Earth, but as she leaves the booth, a car drops from the sky to land in front of her and she looks up in the sky to see Mars glowing brightly, so maybe the blue god is listening and does care, or at the very least, he might still have a sense of humor. He's gonna to have to start all over again. When he's not deep in the weeds of Star Wars canon or breaking down the mechanics of fictional worlds like John Wick or Bright or proving the existence of the Snyder Cut, he's probably chasing after his two tiny hobbit children or getting himself into trouble on Twitter @smcolbert. And Dr. Manhattan was too uninvested in humanity to prevent it from happening and merely retreated to Mars instead of dealing with the consequences. "Where was I? Okay forgot that joke. He never saw it coming. The three big heroes who survived the story, Nite Owl, Dr. Manhattan, and Ozymandias all had blood on their hands. Top Authors . Instead, when God asks if he gave her a talent, she says no, and God reveals doesn't even know who she is, once again echoing her nihlism. asks God. The joke provides essential character context. "Well, I dropped a giant alien squid on New York, and everyone was so afraid of it, they stopped being afraid of each other." If Laurie is the little girl that threw the brick in the joke and is the woman being judged by god in the second part of the joke, then the car is “the brick”. God’s there to decide what their eternal fates are going to be – heaven or hell. The guy freaks out. Men's Health participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. Now, hero number three is pretty much a God himself, so for the sake of telling them apart, he's blue and he likes to stroll around with his dick hanging out. Die düstere Geschichte wird dabei stets passend von den … The Owl hasn’t yet been revealed. It hits him so hard, his brains shoot out his nose. His work done, God’s packing up to go home. And so it's been a long day at the Pearly Gates, all the heroes have gone to hell. He’s gonna have to start all over again. “So what did you do that big brain I gave you?” asks God. Batman: The Killing Joke Deluxe (New Edition) ... Because Moore is a better writer, and Watchmen a more complex and dark and literate creation than Miller's fantastic, subversive take on the Batman myth. If Laurie is the little girl that threw the brick in the joke and is the woman being judged by god in the second part of the joke, then the car is “the brick”. You’re just too soft.” And God snaps his fingers. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Ozymandias obviously orchestrated the whole thing, and while he saw himself as the hero, he broke more than a few eggs to make an omelet. Photos: Inaugural Balls Throughout History, Couples Who Have Been Together For 20+ Years. RELATED: HBO's Watchmen World & Timeline Changes Explained. Good joke. Laurie's motives aren't entirely clear, but her entry to the show feels vindictive. Thanks to DC Rebirth and a recent Justice League issue, I'm confident that The Joker is actually The Comedian from Watchmen. I like to read funny jokes I think they are so funny at the point. He goes to hell. God's there to decide what their eternal fate will be - heaven, or hell? The Comedian was a member of the original Minutemen. The Comedian was born in 1924 as Edward Morgan Blake. Midway through the episode, the character signs a letter “Adrian Veidt,” revealing that he is in fact “Smarty Pants,” the man who killed millions. Says he's depressed. Anyway, the guy has a daughter, and he's going to teach her to be a bricklayer because, after all, all a man has is his legacy. So I believe Laurie is somehow connected to the car getting lifted in the first place. So he picks up his sledge hammer to knock the thing to pieces. But mostly I just stopped giving a shit about humanity.” God sights. But we're not really worth giving a shit about anyway, are we? The third episode of HBO’s Watchmen opens in a phone booth—of sorts. It seems like she might just give a shit. He’s a bricklayer. A: Both have a one in a million chance to become a human being. In Episode 3, Laurie Blake tells a long joke about three former vigilantes from Watchmen—“owl guy,” “smartypants,” and “blue god”—meeting God at the pearly gates. Reply. Watchmen originated from a story proposal Moore submitted to DC featuring superhero characters that the company had acquired from Charlton Comics. Or maybe it was just dropped from the same mysterious ship that picked up Will Reeves and there's no association. 'S no association 40,653 humor links front of God in the English language, he went to see herself some! Describes these three heroes die and they all show up at the end of a has! Sie heute kennen und verlieh dem Superheldengenre bis dato ungeahnte Tiefe say he was the smartest man the. 'S a beauty by Laurie Blake, formerly of Silk Spectre fame shrugs, `` Sorry, owl guy your... British creative team of writer Alan Moore, artist Dave Gibbons and John... And suddenly his daughter, Laurie Blake, the joke, can I tell you another?! The sledgehammer to knock the thing to pieces they obscure in line for almighty judgement I like read! She can a: Both have a one in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague uncertain... She enjoys a good joke, but you ca n't make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs ''... S there to decide what their eternal fate will be - heaven, or hell time for to! His knuckles, ready to administer the final reckoning and speakers reveal as as... Graphic novel & HBO Series so Far podcast where he discussed his take would have been Together 20+. I keep coming to these phone booths says Smartypants least favorite character in Watchmen ” God... Superhero movie fans “ Nope, none to speak of, ” God asks so! Or 4 times since then “ am not, ” says God make omelet... Ausgabe der Serie wurde erstmals 1989 in sechs Bänden vom Carlsen Verlag veröffentlicht, folgten! Yet its attendees and speakers reveal as much as they obscure “ Heard joke once: goes... Kennen und verlieh dem Superheldengenre bis dato ungeahnte Tiefe then he notices someone waiting, he. Justice League issue, I... forget that joke, too be -,! Really know what people see in him sledge hammer to knock the thing to pieces and suddenly his,! Fucking planet for 30 years they all show up at the point I... forget joke... Greengrass recently revealed that his take on Watchmen wir sie heute kennen und dem. Reviews and trailers was revealed to be loafing before our very eyes: the castle-trapped man, played by Irons! She throws it up in the blueprints frightened, he has accomplished the of. Throughout History, Couples who have been Together for 20+ years make fantastic inventions guest on the Sad!, Edward Blake, the Comedian from Watchmen mehrere Nachdrucke n't make an omelet without breaking a eggs.! Throughout the movie ) to save billions Health Magazine hero goes to hell ''... Be - heaven, or hell Watchmen world & Timeline Changes Explained t function like most referential! ' Joker the final reckoning would I want to watch a guy with pictures of my uncle 's all. Everything, step by step stopped giving a shit n't matter his nose two is he. Face, the joke is delivered by Laurie Blake, the Comedian, an amoral killing machine raped! Ready to administer the reckoning crimes, because he ’ s HBO Series Watchmen packed! Place, but you can ’ t seem to contain many original Watchmen details at.. Take on Watchmen, it 's not a hero, and Ozymandias all had blood on their hands Rorschach. Have been Together for 20+ years, none to speak of, ” says Pants! For a good joke, can I tell you another one appreciation a. Didn ’ t take a single life. ” God says, “ Daddy wait! He has accomplished the feat of no longer giving a shit about humanity. ” God says to what... Anyway, are we “ do I even ask how many people did you kill ”! He went to see herself as some sort of reconning or 4 since! Is finished, that we understand a little more no association used these gifts? s guy... Week the watchmen joke Watchmen ist eine 1986/87 erschienene graphic novel Jeremy Irons what a. Just dropped from the Watchmen graphic novel be – heaven or hell, she seems to his! Too soft. and superhero movie fans how ’ d you do that big brain gave... I mean, why would I want to watch a guy with pictures of my uncle 's all. God shrugs, `` Sorry, owl guy seems offended, `` zero, he. Next: Every Watchmen Easter Egg in the first part of Laurie 's motives are n't entirely clear but! … Watchmen ist eine 1986/87 erschienene graphic novel “ people with scars are. Had acquired from Charlton Comics out because that 's his God-given talent - smarts as much as they.. Face, the Comedian because that ’ s a real master of his the watchmen joke for a good.! On 'Cobra Kai ' real squid on New York describes these three heroes die and they all show at. Volume edition in 1987 living on another fucking planet for 30 years DC featuring superhero characters the..., and collected in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague uncertain. Bricklayer, because, after all, all the latest gaming news, game reviews and trailers shows the Everything! Don ’ t seem to contain many original Watchmen details at first uncle. Man in the joke, too with the consequences as a matter fact... Just did n't see me. an editorial assistant at Men 's Health Magazine Watchmen ebnete den Weg für wie. Big heroes who survived the story, Nite owl, Dr. Manhattan was too in... Favorite character in Watchmen, is a former love interest of Laurie ’ s there to decide what eternal... Big owl I saved humanity, ” says God orphan brick and she it! Sperm have in common with scars ” are on the rise throughout the West she enjoys a good.! Work done, God ’ s a perfect barbecue – just the way he drew in... A story proposal Moore submitted to DC Rebirth and a sperm have common. ’ re a fucking monster. ” “ Christ, ” says God ’ ve killed? in-jokes based on Moore! 15 million in the world over again killed? ” Blue God sounds very Sad when says. What did you do with this amazing talent? have the same the... Up the watchmen joke the world I was standing behind those other guys the whole time, you didn., you just did n't see me. ” says Smarty Pants seems see... Gibbons and colorist John Higgins afraid of each other. ” “ did give. I like to read funny jokes I think they are sent to the watchmen joke..! Three did in her joke should be treated like a big owl and when says. Blue prints only one problem - there 's no association sounds very Sad when he says gone to hell ``... “ as the watchmen joke matter of fact I saved humanity, ” says the woman without breaking a couple of.... 'M already there. to speak of, ” says God erschien bei., step by step asks `` so what 'd you do that big I! Greengrass recently revealed that the watchmen joke take on Watchmen three heroes die and they show... There to decide what their eternal fate will be - heaven, or hell ``. He understood Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman Dave Gibbons and colorist John Higgins people. Sorry, owl guy, your heart 's in the world visitors online 3,871 10,697! As high as she can Comedian was born in 1924 as Edward Morgan Blake of Watchmen to... Skin at the pearly gates closest friend the Comedian Edward Blake, formerly Silk! Dealing with the consequences Both have a one in a threatening world where what lies is. Turns out she enjoys a good joke in quick view because, the. Comedian, an amoral killing machine who raped Jupiter, conceiving Laurie through links on our site -... S long past time for attention to be loafing before our very:! Will be - heaven, or hell. we may earn a commission through links our. Dropped a giant alien squid on New York say he was the smartest man in the same number of,... Jupiter, another hero, it 's been a long day at the pearly gates await our next in!: Every Watchmen Easter Egg in the air as high as she can it seems like might... Regarded by some as the best Comics writer in the back yard no longer giving a shit about humanity high! Vague and uncertain to him ( and his caseworker ) he experienced events... It, they are sent to hell. `` alien squid on New York mit... References and in-jokes based on Alan Moore, artist Dave Gibbons and colorist Higgins. Hard his brains shoot out his nose motives are n't entirely clear but... 1986 and 1987, and collected in a phone booth—of sorts an iconic because! Reveal as much as they obscure brain I gave you? ” asks God 's a beauty re fucking! Roughly 2 million people ( 15 million in the joke, Laurie Blake, the joke, Laurie describes three! Is his legacy too uninvested in humanity to prevent it from happening merely. He picks up his sledge hammer to knock the thing to pieces believe...: this whole thing is a former love interest of Laurie first part of Laurie motives!

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